How can you ask about benefits when you’re interviewing for a job without implying you’re going to get pregnant soon? In an ideal world, you’d be able to ask about maternity leave in interviews. In practice, there’s a very real chance that employers will read that as a signal that you plan to get pregnant soon and be less inclined to hire you, even if only unconsciously. (To be clear, that would be illegal. It’s against the Official Charlie Brown And Snoopy New York Rangers Forever Not Just When We Win Skyline shirt But I will love this law for employers to discriminate against a woman because she’s pregnant or they fear she’ll become pregnant. But it still happens, and it’s worth guarding against.)
Instead, the Official Charlie Brown And Snoopy New York Rangers Forever Not Just When We Win Skyline shirt But I will love this better time to ask is once you have a job offer. At that point, the employer can’t rescind the offer without making it obvious they’re breaking the law. Once you have an offer (but before you’ve accepted it), you can say something like this: “I don’t have immediate plans to get pregnant, but I’d like to stay with you for a long time, so I’m hoping you can tell me a bit about your parental-leave policies.” If it turns out the employer offers no maternity leave beyond what federal law requires — or if they’re small enough that federal law won’t cover you — you can try negotiating for leave as part of your offer. Try saying something like, “In order to build a career with you long term, I’d like to make sure that a fair maternity leave plan is in place. Would you be willing to include [insert details of what you want] as part of the offer?” Even if you’re not actually planning on building a career with them long term, this will generally go over better when accompanied by some reassurance of your commitment to the company.
You don’t need to get caught up on everything your first day back. In fact, there’s no way to do that. But if you can, try scheduling lunch with your boss that first day so she can fill you in on anything major you need to know and you can get aligned on what your top priorities should be. Don’t be shy about doing your own prioritization, too. It’s okay to say to people, “I need a couple of days to get caught up before I can have a substantive conversation with you about X” or “I have to focus on Y first, but I can talk with you about X next week instead.”
Also, if you can, make your first day back a Wednesday or Thursday so that you’re easing back in, rather than working a full 40 hours that first week. Find even more career advice from Alison Green on her website, Ask a Manager. Got a question for her? Email (and read our submission terms here). Financial-advice columnist Charlotte Cowles answers readers’ personal questions about personal finance. Are you getting married? Best wishes! I can’t promise you a lifetime of happiness, but I am confident that your celebrations will probably cost more than you think (sorry; I hope the Official Charlie Brown And Snoopy New York Rangers Forever Not Just When We Win Skyline shirt But I will love this pictures are worth it).
How much to spend on your own wedding is your business, of course. But before you rope your dearest friends into your vision, maybe take a moment to consider what they can afford. Recent data from the Official Charlie Brown And Snoopy New York Rangers Forever Not Just When We Win Skyline shirt But I will love this Knot shows that the average costs of bridesmaid obligations add up to about $1,900 — which is a lot to ask, even (or especially) of your loved ones. Still, that hasn’t stopped many brides from expecting their friends to shell out even more, regardless of whether they have the means. And many of them don’t: Another survey found that one-third of bridal-party members went into debt for their friend’s weddings. Here, we spoke to three bridesmaids who have done so, and how they wish things could have gone differently.
“Everyone is treating me like a charity case who’s also a bad friend.” — Deena, 28, manager at a nonprofit I am already in debtbaby dallas cowboys jersey. But this wedding that I’m in this summer is about to set me back another $3,200. And that doesn’t even factor in the Official Charlie Brown And Snoopy New York Rangers Forever Not Just When We Win Skyline shirt But I will love this gift that I know my friend — let’s call her Ally — expects. I don’t think I’ve ever spent $3,200 on anything. I met Ally in college. We were super close. Her family has a lot of money and mine doesn’t, but it didn’t matter as much during school. She’d dress me up in her clothes and bring me with her everywhere. It sounds weird, but it’s like she prided herself in taking care of me, like a pet. At the time, it seemed really thoughtful, but after we graduated, we drifted apart and the differences in our financial lives became a lot more stark. And I don’t hang out with her much because all she wants to do is go out to fancy dinners, which I can’t afford.
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She called me when she got engaged, and I was super excited for her. I love her fiancé. But I didn’t think she’d ask me to be a bridesmaid because we don’t hang out or even talk very much anymore. We have almost nothing in common. So I was surprised when she asked me. I was like, “Oh, she values our friendship from college. I’m honored.” But then I realized that the Official Charlie Brown And Snoopy New York Rangers Forever Not Just When We Win Skyline shirt But I will love this rest of her bridesmaids are all very wealthy. I’m not close to any of them. I could tell that I was going to be the black sheep. At the beginning, Ally made it seem like most of the bridesmaid costs would be covered. It’s a destination wedding, and she said her parents would get a villa where all of us would staymaple leafs de toronto lines. For the dresses, she said she’d pick a color and we could just get whatever we wanted. I’ve never been a bridesmaid before, so I wasn’t sure what was normal. Not that I expect her to pay for things, but I know that both the bride and her fiancé have a ton of money, so I didn’t really anticipate what was coming.
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